Tort Report

Here are some more wacky labels for you. . .

On an American Airlines packet of nuts
Instructions - open packet, eat nuts

A warning on a pair of shin guards manufactured for bicyclists
Shin pads cannot protect any part of the body they do not cover

Warning on an electric router made for carpenters
This product not intended for use as a dental drill 

On a hair dryer
Do not use in shower

On Marks & Spencer bread pudding
Product will be hot after heating

Warning on fireplace log
Caution - Risk of Fire

On some frozen dinners
Serving suggestion: defrost

On a hotel provided shower cap
Fits one head

On Nytol Nighttime Sleep-Aid
Warning: May cause drowsiness

Warning on a cartridge for a laser printer
Do not eat toner

'Danger 'Avoid Death' Warning label Contest Winner

DETROIT (AP) — Words to live by, from a warning label on a small tractor: "Danger: Avoid Death." That warning was selected Wednesday as the winner of the 11th annual "Wacky Warning Label Contest," sponsored by Michigan Lawsuit Abuse Watch. The contest is part of an effort to show the effects of lawsuits on warning labels.

Kevin Soave of Farmington Hills, a Detroit suburb, won the $500 grand prize for submitting the tractor's "Danger: Avoid Death" label.

The $250 second place was given to Carrianne, Jacob and Robby Turin of Greensburg, Pa., for a label they found on an iron-on T-shirt transfer that warns: "Do not iron while wearing shirt."

Richard Goodnow of Lancaster, Mass., earned the $100 third-place prize for a label on a baby stroller featuring a small storage pouch that warns: "Do not put child in bag."

Contest organizer Bob Dorigo Jones says the silly labels reflect how broken America's civil justice system is.

Read full story [The Associated Press]

Lakefront Brewery Target Of Unlikely Lawsuit

MILWAUKEE - Just days after a Washington D.C. judge lost his job following the loss of a $54 million lawsuit over a pair of missing pants, a Milwaukee business is being sued in what legal observers describe as an equally frivolous case.

A Florida man, Olester Duncan, has named a handful of breweries including Milwaukee’s Lakefront Brewery seeking damages after he got knocked in the head with a can of Schlitz Malt Liquor.

Duncan claims he was reaching for a four-pack of the brew at an Albertson’s grocery store in Ocala, Florida, when one can came loose and hit him in the skull.

Although Lakefront Brewery is named as a defendant, there is no explanation in court documents why Mr. Duncan believes Lakefront is responsible.

“I don’t know what his injuries were,” said Lakefront’s attorney, Don Demet. “But maybe he got hit in the head and there were injuries to his thought process or something.”

TODAY’S TMJ4 placed numerous calls to Mr. Duncan’s attorney, Dennis L. Finch, but none of those calls was returned.

Read full story [todaystmj4.com]